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From Behind Our White Picket Fence Week 173
By Freddy and Eddy
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Bedroom Bargains

Surprisingly, sales saw an uptick last week, with our weekend tally exceeding expectations both online and in our Mar Vista boutique. We’d love to think this was due to the economy showing signs of a turnaround, but CNN quickly squashed that theory with an avalanche of bad statistics pointing to the contrary. California unemployment is forecasted to hit over 12% in a few months and the overall GDP continues to contract (ironically, the stock market seemed to like the bad news, rising 10%). One more small business bit the dust up the street, emptying another retail space to join the vacant storefronts growing by the week. Oddly, marijuana seems to be thriving, with the lone business opening up in the last few months having been a pot club – oops, we mean – “medicine cooperative” a few doors east of us. You’d think we’d welcome such a business and we do hit the bong on occasion ourselves, so its not like we don’t support legalization; however, is it really a good sign that the only businesses in our little stretch of Venice Blvd. surviving this recession nightmare are a sexuality boutique, liquor store, a coffin retailer, and marijuana dispensary?

Somehow, we are clawing our way back to profitability. We’ve split our online operation and “brick and mortar” businesses into two separate entities, each responsible for standing on its own, lest we close one side down for failing to cover its own operation. With Mom tucked safely into nursing care, we’ve reduced our expenses through this step alone by over three thousand dollars per month, while renting out our back apartment to help cover a significant chunk of our home mortgage. At the store, we’ve jettisoned our employees and allowed our inventories to drop, relying on stocking just enough to satisfy most visitors (and taking advantage of adult distributors being located nearby). Vendors are now being paid regularly and our optimism is slowly rising as we reduce our debt load and streamline things to ride out any further downturns for the remainder of the year. Our landlord seems to have gone along with a small rent reduction as well, staving off the necessity to break our lease and vacate. Though by no means does this put us on the positive side of our financial ledger, we’ve at least adapted to give ourselves the best chance for survival.

And speaking of (survival), we decided to poke around and see what other adult businesses are doing to cope with falling sales. Online searches yielded bargains everywhere, such as this clearance page on JT Stockroom website, where one can find a selection of BDSM gear marked down significantly. Over at The Pleasure Chest, you can print a 15% discount coupon to use on any purchase in their new Impact Salon, while Babeland has some great deals on their sale page. A visit to Extreme Restraints, sellers of thousands of fetish items, revealed a nice selection of clearance items, including metal cock rings, handcuffs, massage oil, and butt plugs. Adult Blowouts, which bills itself as the “Overstock.com of the adult industry,” is selling hardcore DVD’s for under a buck, along with some shockingly low prices on vibrators and other sensual items. In our own online realm, we offer free shipping on all orders over $100.00, which you can combine with the 15% discount code “LSBB” to save serious dollars (we also have a sale section).

Of course, you can always find sexual playthings right under your own noses at home if you use a little creativity. Spatulas and hairbrushes make great paddles, making massage oils from common ingredients found in your local grocery store is easier than you think, and a pulsating shower head makes a great (and clean) stimulation device for any body part. Use pillows as positioning devices and your electric toothbrush can substitute as a surprisingly capable vibrator; and don’t laugh – vegetables CAN be a vagina’s best friend.

See you here next week!