From Behind Our White Picket Fence Week 195
By Freddy and Eddy
Click here to visit all columns
The (No) Sex Pandemic, Pt. 1
Or at least under sexed…
Renowned sex coach and therapist Dr. Patti Britton stopped by our house last week as she blew through town, no doubt rushing off to one of her many speaking engagements, video shoots, and the like. With the promise of one of our better bottles of wine and a plate of slow-cooked pot roast, she sat down for a 14th podcast with us to discuss the alarming decline in sexual frequency afflicting our country. It seems in the age of the internet, e-mail, and text messaging, not only have basic male/female communications skills deteriorated to the point of awkward discomfort, but have virtually disappeared altogether.
Take our friend Anne Hodder, for example. Here’s an attractive, single 25 year old female, working in a good job with her own apartment, car, furniture, and cute, if not slightly ratty cats. After a break up with her long time boyfriend, it would seem – to us, at least – that a gal like Anne would be besieged by suitors anxious to strut their credentials out for inspection. Alas, the parade of LA masculinity, and we use the term contemptuously, has been one disaster after another, with the latest specimen a 5’6” (she’s 5-10) e-mail fanatic who decided their first real world date should be spent in a dive bar downing giant, $25.00 drinks without so much as names for the concoctions. In other words, the gentleman in question felt that the courting via digital means constituted dating, which meant getting together naturally should lead to pumping Anne full of booze for the score. In fact, until they met that fateful night, not a single phone conversation had taken place (though Anne had left a few voice messages that were returned via text!).
Call us old-fashioned, but is this really where sex and dating have evolved? Does getting a person’s phone number mean less conversing and more texting?
Sex itself doesn’t seem to be doing much better, unfortunately. The digital medium has now replaced schools as the primary sex educator, with porn being the most influential guiding mechanism on making love. Of course, this manifests itself in myriad ways, mostly negative, with our young males growing up to expect anal sex, impossible positions, choking blow jobs, and every other deviant behavior that might’ve landed one in jail only one generation previous. Your grandparents’ sex this aint.
Sex Tip: Squeeze, hold, release, repeat - strengthen those love muscles! Regularly exercising your pelvic floor area through kegels can help you not only last longer, but experience more intense orgasms. As an added bonus, regularly performing pelvic floor maintenance can help ward off incontinence and, for men, kegels are recommended to help in overall prostate health as well. To activate these muscles, simply wait until nature calls. Once in the flow, so to speak, stop the surge of urine by squeezing appropriately, hold a couple seconds, release, then repeat. The process is the same for women and you’ll notice results within a few days of initiation. Several products are on the market for women to enhance pelvic strength, the most popular of which are insert able balls, such as these from Fun Factory.
Sex Fact: Historical records show that even in 1850 B.C., women attempted to practice birth control. The most common method was a mixture of crocodile dung and honey placed in the vagina in the hopes of preventing pregnancy.
Product Love: We’d like to show some love for Lorin Ashton, our favorite Burning Man musical artist, who just released his fourth LP, Cozza Frenzy, on September 29th. Loaded with heavy beats, nasty glitches, and down tempo cuts of every shape and size, we hope you’ll give it a listen and buy a couple tracks, if not the entire album. We also love Fun Factory Layaspot for vibrating fun; it’s shaped to fit over the clitoris while making love and can be adjusted from a soft purr to rousing rumbles. At only $60.00, this German love toy will last years to come.
Freddy and Eddy – aka Ian and Alicia Denchasy – can be reached via e-mail at freddy@freddyandeddy.com.
|
