Freddy and Eddy's Sex and Money Article

Home
About Us
Adult Links
Banner Page
How to...
Loving Sex
Message Forums
Podcasts
Product Reviews
-Books
-Vibrators
-Dildos
-Sexy Fun!
-Video
Sex-E-Cards
Sex Positions
Our LA Store
Writings

LIFESTYLE
Food
Events

Galleries

Couples Kissing
Men Kissing
Girls Kissing

Loving Couples
Male/Female
Female/Female
Male/Male
Alternative
Mature

Partners
Penis Pumps
Big Asses
Lesbian Porn
Lylith Lavey
Best Porn

Read Our Book!!!

The World's Best Orgasm Device.

Male Revolution!

Orgasmic Worm

Remote Control

Penis Largess...

Organic Aphrodisiac

Is Your Bedroom Becoming a Bored-Room?
by Freddy and Eddy

If things are lagging in the passion department, look to your bank account for clues...

Is your bedroom becoming the “boredroom?” Is it hard to remember the last time you and your partner had intimate relations? If so, you may want to take a long, hard look at your financial statements. While it’s true that money is often cited as the number one cause of divorce, a couple’s financial health can corrode a relationship in many destructive ways leading up to such a conclusion. Loss of a job, for example, can damage one’s self-esteem and sense of worth, leading to a dampening of sexual enthusiasm. During the recession, as thousands of couples faced the threat of foreclosure and crushing debt (oftentimes brought on by reduction or loss of income), attention turned toward simply keeping a roof over their heads and food on the table. One longtime couple, Jim and Michelle, offered up their own cautionary tale, “We had it all, the house, two cars, and vacations to Hawaii every year.” Then, in 2009, Jim lost his job as a race car mechanic and Michelle’s single income could barely cover the house payment, let alone cars, credit cards, and other obligations. “I still had student loans outstanding,” says Michelle. Slowly, the couple lost everything as the months went by and Jim remained unemployed. They ended up walking away from their mortgage and moving into a friend’s garage apartment down the street. “As we fended off debt collectors and reduced spending, sex was the last thing either of us had on our minds,” says Jim, matter of factly.

Indeed, Sexual Therapist Dr. Lori Buckley, who’s helped hundreds of couples grapple with sex and intimacy issues, suggests couples’ financial relationship can be an incisive indicator of bedroom woes. “Not having a handle on finances can bleed into virtually every aspect of a couple’s life. If bills are piling up and money stresses mount, sex gets moved further down the priority list.” According to Jennifer Oki, owner of Genuine Bookkeeping + More, a financial services firm in Los Angeles, CA, a couple’s financial situation can affect virtually every aspect of their well-being, sexual and/or otherwise, in bad times AND good. “Monetary difficulties take on many forms,” Oki says, “I have seen partners experience stress even though they both have jobs, make great money, and seemingly have a good handle on their finances. However, after digging through their statements, many suffer from improper planning, lack of organization, and spending habits above their income levels.” Jennifer adds with a touch of irony, “Even the so-called “one percenters” can sometimes find themselves in trouble.

Oki goes on to say that she sometimes feels like a couples counselor or marriage therapist more than a bookkeeper, especially when everything is finally brought to light. “In a lot of cases, spouses hide or fail to document their expenditures or are negligent in their record keeping. This results in communications breakdowns that affect everything else in their relationship. It’s like a domino effect and emotions can get elevated pretty quickly.” Dr. Lori echoes this sentiment by advising not to turn hardships into a blame game or scorecard. “As the pressures mount, anger can flare up and resentments can embed themselves into the fragile fabric of the relationship.” Buckley laments, “It’s sad to watch couples finding faults and unleashing frustrations on each other at a time when they should be banding together to weather such storms.” In fact, according to Buckley, this is a time when sexual activity could actually help couples navigate through rough waters. “Scientifically speaking, sex reduces stress and releases endorphins that can elevate moods and relax the body, physically,” states Buckley. A recent Forbes article by author Alan Farnham lends weight to Buckley’s assertion and points out how sexual activity can beneficially affect everything from reducing the risk of heart disease and depression to aiding in pain relief, weight loss, prostate health, and less frequent colds and flu.

There’s also a practical effect of tightening one’s belt in tough times; romantic dinners out are often replaced by budget conscious meals prepared at home, vacations so vital to bonding without distractions are cancelled, and even stimulating purchases like sex toys, adult videos, and naughty lingerie are eliminated to save money. Jamye Waxman, Sex Educator and author of Hot Sex: Over 200 Things You Can Try Tonight! suggests finding alternatives. “There’s no reason a meal cooked together can’t rival what a five star restaurant will provide,” Waxman gushes, “And the bonus is that the bedroom is just a few feet away!” Jamye suggests taking a few hours each week to put aside the “hard stuff,” and instead turn the energy toward one another. Meditation, long walks, or lounging outside in a backyard are a few ways she suggests couples can not only de-stress, but reconnect intimately. “You don’t have to suddenly put pressure on yourselves to jump into bed,” she cautions, “Just holding hands and rediscovering why you are together can be a good first step.”

To solve financial problems, Oki stresses honesty and action, first and foremost. “The first thing couples should do,” she states emphatically, “... is sit down and have a frank discussion of where they’re at and what their end goals are. Nothing should be off limits and from there, an action plan can be devised and implemented.” This means establishing a realistic budget and working within that limitation.

Some quick tips to aid in organization and financial discipline:

- decide as who will be in charge in paying all the bills.

- establish a realistic budget, which includes putting money aside for rainy days. The savings
need not be much, $50 a month is better than nothing.

- centralized all the bills in one area. Setup an area in your home where you sit down and write
checks.

- do a monthly review on the actual expenses versus budget. It can be something simple as an
excel spreadsheet with 2 columns.

- MOST IMPORTANTLY - open communication between each other and be supportive. Because
you are in it together.

Dr. Lori Buckley and Jamye Waxman both agreed that communication and patience should be added to Jennifer’s list. “There’s no one point of failure, yet there are two able participants to solve things,” says Dr. Lori, with Sex Educator Waxman adding that it may circumstances beyond either partner’s control can lead to false scapegoating. “Loss of a job is disheartening to say the least,” Waxman believes, “So why make things worse by assigning fault?” All three believe such obstacles can be overcome and a normal passionate life resumed, however, and if both sides are willing to work together to put their financial house together, love and intimacy will be the reward for balancing the books.