----------------------------------------------------
WHY LUBE?
----------------------------------------------------

Moisture is essential to any kind of sex—rubbing dry on dry skin will quickly show you how uncomfortable sexual activity can be without it. Moisture prevents micro-abrasions in our most sensitive areas that can happen from sexual friction, as well as heightens sensation. Jenne from Clitical.com illustrated it well when she described her “finger on lip” test... first run your finger over your dry lip, then lick them and try again... and you'll understand why moisture is so important.

For most of my sexual life, I'd thought (incorrectly) that our own vaginal moisture, or saliva as a second runner up, was enough. Lube is more than just moisture... it's formulated to be more slick than our natural juices, and to give a bit of padding between surfaces in motion.

Some of you might be reading this because your natural source for moisture has, well, dried up. There are endless reasons why this can happen, most relating to changes in our estrogen levels, which directly effect how moist we are:

And these aren't all the reasons... travel, quantity of sex, even how much coffee you drink can be contributing factors. Combine the added benefits of using lube over vaginal fluids or saliva with the oh-so-many-reasons for our natural juices to dry up, and you should be reaching for the lube.

Years of having sex without ever using lube taught me the hard way that our own fluids aren't enough.

Without going into the gory details here, I spent 14 years having sex with only my own moisture as lubrication. This was especially unwise when having anal sex; our anal cavities produce absolutely no moisture of their own, so when saliva dries up, there's nothing left to keep your skin from tearing, or worse.

I'm an example of what can happen: I've injured my (inner) involuntary sphincter muscle, which gives our body a head's up that there's something coming down the pike. I get no such warning. I'll go into the details in my Anal Sex 101 article; suffice it to say, lube is the first thing I grab when it's time to play.

Ok, so we've established that lube is a good thing, now which one to get?

----------------------------------------------------
CATEGORIES OF LUBE
----------------------------------------------------

The amount of information about lube in general is so vast and confusing, I wanted to pare it down to just the essentials.

There are basically 3 different kids of lube; below are descriptions of each, with some general tips to round things out.


Oil-based

Oil-based lubes were the first recorded lubes; Egyptians started using olive oil back in the hieroglyphic days. Without better options available, we've been reaching for anything slippery, like cooking oil (olive oil or Crisco) and the make-up remover Aboline; all oil-based and all will cause yeast infections in women, and break down latex (destroy condoms and toys).

It's only in recent history that we've found out that oil anything wreaks havoc on the vagina, harboring bacteria and creating yeast infections. Some sex educators therefore reserve oil-based lubes for anal sex and male masturbation; recent research is also ruling out use for anal sex, as some say it can coat the lining of the rectum, providing a haven for many potential infections. Whether that's true or not, I'm not one to try and use one lube for my anus, and hope that none gets near my vagina; the trouble and expense of a yeast infection simply isn't worth it to me.

Oil-based lubes also break down latex, which will either render your condom useless, or destroy your favorite toy.

Which leaves us with male masturbation, which oil-based lubes are uniquely suited for. They are super slippery and thick without being sticky, ideal for men's use. There are oil-based lubes based on mineral oil, which are liquid at room temperature, hypoallergenic, and clean up with soap and water.

Petroleum also fits into this category; white or food-grade petroleum is what products sold as sexual lubricants use; yellow has more impurities and is not good for the body. It's solid at room temperature, hypoallergenic, more slippery than mineral oil, and doesn't clean up very easily, though you can wipe off as much as you can and call the rest “moisturizer.”

Common ingredients:
Mineral oil, petroleum

Product we suggest:
Stroke 29 Male Masturbation Cream

Water-based

Lube as we know it descended from a cellulose/water combination called Surgilube, released in the 1950s and still common today for “medical applications,” translation, one-time insertion. Astroglide was one of the first lubes designed just for sexual play back in the 1950s, though most lube (and sexual health) studies have been in more recent years. What about KY-Jelly, you ask? It was designed to aid with medical examinations, and it tends to gum up quickly when used for sex play; though KY has designed actual sexual lubes since.

The majority of lubes are water-based; they are a great all-purpose lube because they are condom safe, generally don't stain (depends on if coloring has been added or not), and can be flavored easily. Because they are water-based, they dehydrate (dry up), but remember that the slippery ingredients are still there... so a quick dunk of your hand in a glass of water on your bedside table, touch the lubed area, and you're back in business.

Water-based lubes are thicker than silicone lube because water molecules are thicker than silicone molecules, so are often recommended for anal sex (more padding back there is a good thing), though some prefer silicone lube because it doesn't dry up as quickly. Water-based lube cleans up easily with soap and water, though some of the better water-based lubes will just soak into your skin (and double as a moisturizer with the right ingredients).

The only across-the-board disadvantage to water-based lube is that it's water-based, so it dehydrates quicker than other types of lubes. Most water-based lubes are glycerin-based; glycerin can turn into a sugar when added to the vagina, causing yeast infections for those of us that are prone to them (like me). Unlike silicone lube, which is made out of inert ingredients, water-based lubes can contain ingredients that might react with our bodies, depending on what we are sensitive to; I get yeast or bacteria infections with any glycerin-based lubes, and have reacted to lubes with lots of parabens, too.

Common ingredients:
Glycerin or plant cellulose (slippery stuff); Methyl, butyl, ethyl and propyl parabens (preservatives, bonding agents and antiseptics); propylene glycol (thickening agent and preservative).

Products we suggest:
There are so many lubes on the market, we don't even want to carry them all, though we have tested more than we can count. We like Sliquid because they are the biggest lube nerds around, and are passionate about keeping lubes safe for our bodies. Sliquid's H2O or Flavors (Sliquid makes one of the few lubes that's glycerin-free, and it's flavors are so good, Freddy and Eddy even tried them on ice cream). Shunga flavors (one of the few lines who's flavors are consistently good, combined with a quality water-based lube). I also love Oh My! Personal Lubricant, as it's one of the few on the market without parabens, something a few of us react negatively to.

Silicone

Silicone is clear, thinner, and feels... slick. If you just touch the cap of the lube bottle, you'll feel how slippery it is without even having to put it on your skin. Though it tends to be more expensive, a little bit goes a long way, so your bottle will last twice as long as a similar-sized bottle of water-based lube.

Silicone molecules are smaller than water molecules, therefore, you stay a little more in-touch with what you're rubbing against and don't have as much padding; personal tastes dictate whether this is a good or bad thing. Because silicone isn't naturally occurring in the body, it doesn't absorb like water-based lube can; though you might think this is a bad thing, when you factor in that your body expels foreign substances, silicone lube is actually out of your system faster than you might think. Silicone is inert, which means it won't change your pH balance or react with your body's chemistry, a big plus if (like me) your body is just looking for an excuse for a yeast infection.

Because it's not water-soluble, it's also the perfect choice for using in or under water, too, though be careful... it will make the floor of your shower super-slick too. It also makes a great massage oil because it doesn't dry up before you're done with it (try it as a shave cream, or to make your latex clothes shine, too!). Soap and water will wash it off with a little effort.

The only disadvantages in my book: if, or should I say when, you spill it on your sheets, it will leave an oily ring (that washes out over time, but still). Also, the only thing that bonds to silicone is silicone; so using silicone lube with lower-quality silicone toys can gum up the surface. To be clear, this is toys that use lesser-grade of silicone (called “tin” silicone, I've only found it in Vixen Creation toys) or a combination of silicone and other materials (like many of the new products created by the big toy companies; if a toy smells, it's not 100% silicone). All Tantus Silicone and Fun Factory toys are made with “platinum” silicone (medical-grade quality silicone) and don't have any issues. If you are unsure what type of toy you've got, do a spot-test on a small area; if it's going to gum up, it will do so immediately.

I also recently found out that silicone isn't so friendly on the digestive tract; so using it for oral sex might give you the runs if you ingest too much.

Common ingredients:
Cyclomethicone, dimethiconaol, silicone, dimeticone copolyol, all silicone liquids that combine together to create inert silicone lube.

Products we suggest:
Sliquid Silver (the larger size comes with a handy-dandy pump that locks easily for travel). Sliquid also makes a part-silicone part-water-based lube called Sliquid Silk; gives you the padding of water-based lube with some of the longevity and slick-ness of silicone lube.

Tips:

For more information on specific ingredients used in lubes, check out this article on our friend Jenne's site, Clitical.com.