Synopsis: A
short, concise, and easy to
read book on improving sexuality through connecting the heart and mind.
Freddy Says:
This is a very difficult review
to write for two reasons. First, I find it hard to put into words what I
absorbed from my two readings without giving away too much and getting
carried away. Second, because I contributed a small section myself, I don't wish to seem
biased in my praise of Jordan and Brenda's excellent work. Suffice it to say
that, through thorough explanation and multiple examples, Oral Sex seeks to
convince the reader that the key to fulfilling sexual potential is to become
"heart-connected." That is to say that a loving, non-judgmental environment
for honest and open communication must be established in which couples can
explore without fear their deepest desires and feelings. Curiosity and
compassion are the key words used in the text and exercises for establishing
a "heart-on" are given throughout the book.
Starting with several sexual myths, Oral Sex breaks them down one by one,
illustrating with anecdotes and facts how misconstrued many of our beliefs
can be. One such example (which I'll leave for you to discover) concerns our
common conceptions of our own sexual organs. Suffice it to say that we
believe with the authors that our genitalia are "beautiful."
However, just because much attention is paid to the heart-connection
concept, don't think the authors have left out basic anatomy. Indeed,
Chapter 2 (The nuts and Bolts of Holistic Sex) has one of the simplest
explanations of
orgasm found anywhere and
the cute illustrations make their points without being obnoxious or
over-the-top. Another plus to mention is that the book is a compact 124
pages, making it a quick read that avoids the trap of too much analysis and
information overload. One can finish the entire book in a couple of hours,
returning to parts easily again and again without having to wade through
technical mumbo-jumbo and medical jargon. I'd rather read 12 lines of
Shakespeare than 300 pages of Jackie Collins (a fitting analogy here), which just about sums up my
feelings here.
In summary, this is a
great read and I recommend it highly.
Eddy Says:
“Communication” has always been my mantra from the very start of
Freddy and Eddy. It was the main issue between Freddy and myself as we were
experiencing going through a lull in our love life, and just life in
general. I found that over the years as we ventured into this world of
“sexual discontent” between people, that communication was lacking or
removed from the entire relationship. We wondered how we could get more
couples back on the straight and narrow to open their mouths and just speak
to one another and listen with as much true passion. Hence, Oral Sex
was written.
Within the Introduction, the authors Jordan Paul, Ph.D and Brenda
Freshman, Ph.D make a connection to create a blend with an issue of such
importance as communicating within a relationship and sexual activities.
They aptly name this chapter “Becoming a Cunning Linquist”.
Cunning: Skill or adeptness in execution or performance.
Linquist: A person who speaks several languages.
-The American Heritage
Dictionary
The first chapter, “Having a Heart On” is all about the Heart
Connection. Within this chapter they include everything with regards to
having the “Light On” for both of you to connect and also what happens when
the “Light Is Off” and the disconnection that will follow. During the time
that your heart wavers from on to off, you realize that one main feeling
courses through you; Fear. Through learning from exercises of
compassionate listening and taking on personal responsibility you will see
how you can take action to return to your heart.
Within Chapter 2, “The Nuts and Bolts of Holistic Sex”, you will
find how the body, mind and spirit intertwine together to make sex the most
intimate experience ever. Here each segment will be broken down so that the
reader can grasp how each part, whether it be the body (scientifically and
physically), mind (beliefs of masculinity and femininity) or spirit (living
in the present) is shown by example within a quote or testimony.
Chapter 3, “Oral Sex for Fun, Pleasure and Healing”, brings
communication to the front, and shows how it can be expressed in so many
great ways. Having fun means going back to the basics and using what we all
have within ourselves to “pleasure” oneself. This means using; Sensual
Hearing, Pleasurable Sight, Sensual Taste and Sight, and Transcendent
Touch. This chapter will examine the Common Belief versus the
Heart-Connected Belief for each of these senses. The authors give their own
personal experiences while weaving in stories to express each sense.
Healing is a part of this wonderful time, and there isn’t anything more
beautiful than the story of “No Strings Attached”.
Chapter 4, “Falling in Love” is a walk down the road of what we all
should have done to practice the basics of communication. Everyone can
relate to the “chance meeting, first date, getting to know each other,
discussing safe sex” and finally determining the fine line of “just dating”
and a “significant other”. When I read this chapter I laughed at myself
that I was lucky that I got as far with Freddy, since I strayed a bit from
following this path. Although, I do remember when we got married, my
stepfather said to both of us that “communication” is all I have to
give you for advice”. And that sticks to me and my heart every day.
Within Chapter 5 of “Staying In Love: Part 1 Intimacy and Sex”, you
will read how intimacy within a relationship is a staple for it to survive.
You will see how sexual intimacy moves from “getting” to “giving” and how it
changes the way you look at one another and grow to the next level in your
relationship. I have seen how couples who have grown more apart over the
years, due to not committing to have their hearts connect and letting their
needs be filled with “receiving” instead of “giving”. Throughout ones’
relationship other issues may appear such as Sex and Parenting, Sex and
Disability and Sex and Aging. Reality says that they may all appear at
least once in your committed relationship.
Lastly Chapter 6, “Staying In Love: Part II Intimacy and Freedom,
expands on the topic of Chapter 5. Losing your personal freedom is a fear
that seems to rear its’ ugly head once in awhile in relationships. Why is
it that people think that a relationship has anything to do with freedom?
Are we not respecting each other as an individual, (what made us attracted
to each other in the first place)? The combination of Fear and Freedom can
only lead a couple down a path that may lead to some very undesirable place,
such as Infidelity. Is that bad? Or is it a learning curve.
Oral
Sex – Talking and Listening Your Way to Passionate Intimacy is a well
written book that showcases how we all need to use the most important aspect
in a relationship – COMMUNICATION. With a slight tongue-in-cheek, yet
informative attitude, they offer great advice and insight as what ALL
couples will face down the road of life together. Hopefully they will be
heart connected.Interested in purchasing
this book?
Click here to visit our online store or
here to visit Amazon (coming soon) for more information.
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