Synopsis: A
combination cock pump and powered masturbation device.
Our Review: I'd
always avoided reviewing products like this. It's not that I have
anything against masturbation devices; instead, my hesitance was
due to the inevitable ribbing I'd catch from our friends if I ever
DID slip one of these awkward contraptions onto my cock. And, I
must admit that this particular machine sat for weeks before I
mustered up the courage to load up the four AA batteries and whip
out my favorite jerk-off video,
Barely Legal # 10. Alas, Eddy was off at work, the
mother-in-law was at her gym, and our little one was safely at
kindergarten, so any and all excuses to avoid this review were rendered
null and void. So, my bottle of
Divine 9 lube in hand, I
ventured forth into new territory and betrayed my beloved Rosy
Palm and her five helpers. My experience? Well, after finishing my
test drive, I'll unequivocally state that any and all sarcastic
remarks will be tolerated from here on out.
First, the
basics: the Optimum Power Stroker is a machine about the size of a
Foster's beer can (or one of those Arizona iced tea drinks) that
has a squishy fake vagina on one end, which you insert your erect
penis through and up into another silicone sleeve that moves up
and down to create a sucking action to mimic the sensation of
actual sex. An added bonus is that the Climaxer vibrates, which
adds even more stimulation (as if you need any!). The main unit is
connected via a wire to a control unit and a manual pump ball is
included for extra suction. With the manual pump attached, you can
use it as a penis pump, which makes it unnecessary to purchase
such a device for a bit of added size with regular use. It's not
as good a pump as, say, the
Head Coach,
but it does the job adequately enough.
I did encounter
two problems right away. First, the mere sight of the Climaxer
made it difficult for me to get erect (it certainly
didn't help to have the anal version) and second, Eddy wanted to
watch me use it on myself, which I just could NOT bring myself to
do. For some bizarre reason, she equates that letting me watch her
masturbate with various toys constitutes reciprocation on my part!
Have you ever heard of anything so ridiculous? I find it highly
unlikely that the site of me laying there with a wacky looking
piece of plastic adorning my penis is in any way erotic or even
remotely pleasant, visually speaking! No sir, that adventure is
going to be a long time off, I'm afraid.
In the first
case, 10 minutes of the nubile hotties in my heavenly Hustler
video got me
hard as usual and I had made sure to get the Climaxer prepared and
lubed prior to firing up the DVD. I merely had to reach over and
literally take the plunge.
Whoa! And what a
plunge it was! I have no idea that the heck "SoftTouch Plus"
material is, but it enveloped my cock in a way no woman ever has.
No disrespect to my pre-marriage parade of pleasurable ladies or
my 15 years with Eddy, but this stuff felt GREAT! It felt so
fantastic, in fact, that only a couple of stokes up and down with
the Climaxer brought me to the verge of ejaculating - and this was
without turning on the power! Once I flicked the switch and
activated the stroking mechanism and vibrations, it took only
seconds before I simply could not hold out and had to let loose.
This was one case where the experience really blew my mind.
Once finished,
however, I could not figure out how to properly clean
it. I "finished" into the silicone sleeve inside the chamber,
which is what I assumed was supposed to happen. However, the
sleeve is permanently mounted to the stoking apparatus (the
squishy entrance removes easily), so it does not come off. Since
there are no instructions, I flushed it out with soapy warm water,
which found its way into the chamber and would not come back out.
I had to vigorously shake the thing to get most of the water out,
then set it out to dry. I have to believe I was either cleaning it
improperly or that it's some sort of design flaw. I've examined
the Climaxer time and again and simply cannot find a way to
accomplish proper cleaning. I guess I'll have to be more careful
in the future.
In summation,
this thing kicks serious ass and I certainly doubt I'll be using
my hand anytime soon. Though Eddy is dying to watch me use it, I
think this is one case where a man's got to stroke alone...
To learn more
about the Thrusting Power Climaxer,
click here to visit our
friends at Wild in Secret (go to "Superior Adult Sex Toys" on the
left, then "Adult Toys for Men."
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